The Booty Shoes

The shoes you put on after 9 pm, are never the shoes you stay at home with, they are the shoes that I like to call booty shoes.

How do we distinguish between people in our lives that call us because they are genuinely interested in us and people that just want us for what we so famously call the “booty call”?

Of course we come back to our favorite description, the shoes you wear so late at night are never going to be your home slippers. You wear your hottest heels or your nicest pair of dock martens out to impress and to flirt and have fun. In this same sense, anyone that hangs out with you only at night, or calls you only at night, is not someone you wear your home slippers with. They are what we call the “booty shoes” or the “booty call”.

Anyone that does not take the effort to get to know you when you are wearing your home slippers, is not someone who deserves to see you in your hottest pairs of heels or nicest pairs of dock martens. They care for one thing and one thing only, and that’s booty. They only care to see you look your best, at your best, so why should they get the best of you?

We’re worth more than our best pairs of shoes, and if we are distinguishing between who is a “booty call” and who is a worth more, then we should keep in mind those that make the effort to spend time with us in daylight, get to know us other than the wee hours of the night, are the ones who are truly worth our time, effort, friendships, and energy. And worth our hottest pair of shoes :)

The Ever-Changing Favorite Shoe

Throughout your life you’ve had a pair of shoes that have been your favorite. Anytime you wear them you feel amazing, look great, and feel great. However, every shoe has a life, and once the life of the shoe is worn out its time to throw them out and find yourself another pair of favorite shoes.

Just like relationships and people that enter your life. For sometime they maybe your favorite person to be with all the time and you may never be able to imagine life without your favorite person. But as we all know, change is constant, and not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Or be your favorite forever.

So remember that the universe has bigger plans for you than those you have for yourself. You can’t take everyone with you. Send them off with love and well wishes and access to their own plans but send them off nonetheless. Not everyone is a friend but nobody is an enemy. Not everyone belongs in your heart but nobody is heartless. Just hurting. Allow them their hurt. Don’t let them hurt you.

And remember to continue on your journey, even if your favorite shoes are too broken and beyond repair to accompany you. Because in the journey ahead the conditions are rocky and we all deserve a pair of shoes that can protect the soles of our feet through the climb. 

The Shoe That Doesn't Quite Fit...

This shoe is perfect. Perfect in every sense, look, style, height, except it doesn’t quite fit. We all know the kind of relationship I’m talking about here, the friends with benefits, no strings attached relationships. Because these relationships are perfect in every way but they just don’t quite fit and at the end of the day, you don’t have the shoe or a relationship that fits you perfectly.

You’re perfect for each other, you get each other, you’re best friends, you can talk for hours, sex or hooking up has chemistry that is plain just off the charts. So if it’s all that great why aren’t you in a relationship? Friends with benefits or NSA has become a recent trend these days that most people find themselves in. And sure it works great…for what the first week? You don’t have the same level of commitment that you need to have in a relationship, you can meet up or call each other whenever you want, and you don’t even have to be exclusive. Just like that shoe that doesn’t quite fit. You can deal with it at first, but eventually your toe being crushed all the time doesn’t sound as appealing and the shoe stops looking appealing altogether.

Then god-forbid, you suddenly start wishing that your shoe actually did fit! It suddenly loses it perfect charm, and you realize that your feet actually remember how painful it was to wear it last. That is the problem with Friends with Benefits or NSA relationships, one person will always end up wishing that the shoe actually did fit rather than continue smushing their toe in a shoe that doesn’t quite fit. To keep wearing these shoes just means blisters for your toes, aching feet, and eventual hatred for the shoe that keeps hurting you, no matter how great it is.

Save yourself the trouble, if you find yourself wearing shoes that don’t quite fit, and your other half doesn’t want to help you break them in... well, toss the shoe out. Cause if you keep smushing your toes in shoes that don’t quite fit, how will your feet ever find the shoes that do fit in very way you need them too? 

Slippers&Shoes

The slipper and shoe, different as day and night. One seeks to keep your feet out in the open and the other seeks to enclose, yet both can be comfortable and excellent pairs of shoes. Must haves in every closet right?

Well like a slipper and shoe, relationships come in all sorts of different styles and purposes. There are multiple ways to look at this, biracial relationships, bicultural relationships, bi-religious couples, or even a couple that doesn’t have any racial, cultural, religious differences, but are as opposite as day and night! What do these all have in common? Well one is the slipper and the other is the shoe. But does that mean they are not comfortable shoes? Absolutely not. In fact, maybe that’s the beauty of their relationship, the fact that they are so different yet both so comfortable. Comfortable in their own soles.

Speaking of being comfortable in your own soles, these relationships are very special. It takes a special type of comfort to be able to open your world to someone who is not like you, yet you’ve managed to find a connection with him or her. First and foremost in these relationships, be comfortable in your own sole, and in fact, accept your differences. Respect your differences, and create a culture, a religion, or a race you want to practice with your significant other.

You are important. Where you come from will never leave you and will always guide your life, therefore, accept it and understand it. Create a value system, or a culture within your own relationship that you want to maintain. You are very lucky because you get a chance to create and celebrate the best of both worlds in your life. Take the good things from your differences, and make them important in your relationship. Celebrate each other; celebrate the life you wish to create. Decide the way you wish to communicate with each other, because after all only the two of you know what’s the best way to be with each other.

In the end, it’s all about a sole-full life isn’t it? :)

Walk through life with a Jimmy Choo

Debating between a pair of shoes that you love is always hard, especially when you have a choice between a really hot, amazing, one of a kind pair of Jimmy Choo’s or a brand-less cute shoe that looks alright but comes for a lot cheaper of a price than a Jimmy Choo.

So what to do? For the one that’s affordable, easy, and nice or the one that is the best, amazing, and hot, but yet so much more difficult to obtain and more expensive?

It depends on what you’re looking for actually and whether you feel the challenge is worth the price. Selecting a brand-less shoe vs. a Jimmy Choo is much like choosing a partner for a relationship. You have the option of deciding whether to be with someone just because it’s easy to be with them and it’s easy to just fall into a pattern but maybe is not worth your time and energy. Maybe you aren’t as invested and only with them because it’s easy. Or you have the option of choosing someone that is a rare find, and requires work to afford, but when you’re with them you know this is it, you know its worth every price you’ve ever paid.

You are special. You are someone worthy of being with someone that is a Jimmy Choo. You are someone whose time, energy, and life are precious. Who you spend your time on, and whom you spend your time with should always be with people you never feel it wasted on. Therefore, the Jimmy Choo will always be difficult to find, difficult to obtain, and may require you to work to make a long lasting, happy relationship. But in the end is worth every penny of the price listed. Because really in the end, you want to walk through your life wearing the Jimmy Choo’s not the brand-less shoe that may or may not last you in the long run.

Every Shoe Has a Charm of its own...

Every Shoe has a charm of its own…

Too tall, too short, too pointed, too rounded, too many laces, no laces, pretty color, ugly color, etc etc etc….

How many times do we find ourselves criticizing the people we meet in life based on what we see? Too many times and too often we pass up some great people because we have decided we don’t like what we see at first.

Every person, and every shoe has a charm of its own. Like an Ugg boot. They are quite possibly the ugliest shoes anyone has ever come across, they are mainly brown, plain, and make your feet look really big. But you get a little closer, and try one on, and instantly you fall in love. You’ve never felt anything softer, or more comfortable than an Ugg boot.

Which is why, we must be individuals that take the time to discover the charm in others. Discover why each person may be special; to understand that if the surface doesn’t appeal at first, it doesn’t mean the inside will look even worse. In fact, you never know who you could discover by giving that person a chance. Maybe you might find something you’ve been searching for all your life.  :)

“Finally letting go of that old beat up shoe...”

You know the favorite shoe of yours, that you’ve outgrown, worn out, and have been ready to throw out for the longest time, but just can’t seem to let go of?  Well it’s kind of like the relationship you’re still holding onto. It’s gone sour, there is no sole-life left in it, but you still find yourself hanging onto the hope that someday, somehow, your ex will magically wake up the next morning and change. They will do everything right, and it will all go back to the beautiful days of your relationships. Like an old shoe, your relationship has travelled quite a rocky journey that has caused it to become old, beaten up, and damaged beyond repair. So what to do to finally help you let go of the past?

First and Foremost moving on is not forgetting. Trying to move on does not mean you need to forget the good times you had or that you need to erase those from your memories. It is after just not possible to do that. You had great times with this person, acknowledge that, and respect that. But just because you had some great times in the past, does not mean you need to keep holding onto a relationship or a past that is no longer here. These memories do have a place in your life, that place is in the past. There is no need to ruin your present and future by letting your memories come into your present and future. Use those memories as a guide, as a standard, as a way to draw a line of good times, and live above that line of standard. Use those memories of good times to learn, to grow, to better understand what you need and want in a relationship. Just like your old shoe, its taken you to some great places, helped you walk through some tough times, but frankly speaking it does not change the fact that shoe shelf life is over.

“Out of sight, out of mind.”- Cold phrase, but holds so much weight. I am not saying that you cannot be friends with your ex. Everyone works differently. And some of you may even be able to be friends with your ex at some point in the future. But right now? You need space. You need to grow and heal without your ex. That really means no phone calls, text messages, instant messages, emails, etc etc. This is probably the hardest part about letting go. Especially when you come across things that routinely remind you of that person. You want to email them an article you read, or text a funny joke, or just some company when you are bored. Unfortunately, this has to stop. How will you discover who you are, and what you need, if you are still thinking of the person that you shared your life with? The only way to truly heal is to give yourself some time and some space to discover new things, to develop a new routine, and to find joy in your life again. You know you are ready to be friends with an ex again, when it stops hurting, when you can talk to them or run into them without feeling like salt is rubbing the wounds in your heart. Without feeling like you are being stomped on again and again. Listen to your heart here, it will tell you quite a bit when its ready to look at the possibility of being friends again.

Reconnect with old friends, new friends, relatives, and basically anyone (except your ex) that makes you smile, makes you laugh, and makes you feel supported. Time to bring on your entourage and go shopping for new shoes. Window shop, shop, but basically, go out and have fun. Enjoy the life you are given, and be with the people that can support you as you try to move forward with your life and relationships. The more you surround yourself with laughter, the easier it will be for you to get through each day.

Spend time with yourself. Get to know you. Life is going to be lonely if you can’t enjoy your own company. This may be the time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time to do. Take up a hobby of your interest, learn to enjoy your own company. Believe me, this is something that holds great value not just out of a relationship, but also in a relationship.

Only time will determine when and how you’re going to move on. Sure, it might not be right away like you want it to be, but eventually one day you’ll wake up and realize that somewhere along the way, that piercing feeling you’ve been feeling inside your chest faded and went away while you were too busy living life to notice.

Besides… letting go of an old shoe makes room for a new and improved shoe :)